How Much?!?!?

So today during lunch I amble off to the mall. I go to the department store that was founded here to get some cologne. First problem, they doubled the size of it and I am now making laps trying to find "men's fragrances". I found it and grabbed what I was looking for. 

So here comes the stylishly dressed "sales associate" to help. I told her I found what I needed and we went to a register. 55 BUCKS? AMERICAN? Really? What the hell is this 1.7 ounces of stuff made out of? Unicorn sweat? I know its hard nowadays to capture one with the whole virgin thing needed to do so but really? 

I better really smell great with this stuff on, velvet ropes should part and champagne fall from the sky when I break this out! 

My sales associate however brightened up and exclaimed: "There is a gift with purchase!" Whoo Hooo! My lucky day as she was pretty enough.... Oh no wait. My bad. Here is the gift:

 














Oh yippee! A crap canvas bag (might be useful for the small stuff at the range), and some other stuff. 

Considering I normally smell like this stuff, perhaps I should stay out of the department stores?